You’re riding a roller coaster of emotions. It leaves a hollow feeling inside your stomach and the flashes of memories can’t seem to get out of your head. Your finger barely touches the ride but somehow you’ve lost all control and the scariest roller coaster ride begins.

You try unearthing the first Facebook message he sent. There are over 2,260 messages exchanged and you’re already descending in the 360th line. It’s like poetry when much of the meaning really is in between the lines, in the minutes or the hours it took before the next line was spoken, written, and possibly forever archived in the Web. There was tension and dramatic irony. There was comedy and tragedy. Maybe if you had managed to be direct one moment or kept yourself tucked in, your current route would be different; you would have lived a different genre. There were pictures and drawings, greetings and sweet nothings. Good mornings and good nights. And all of them simply cached now.

You are in the 140th line. Your descent down memory lane is not merely nostalgic but terribly filled with anxiety, knowing that once you reach base one, you’ll simply go through everything again. The ups and the downs. The gravity and the inertia.

And then there were no more tracks. February 12, 2013.

roller coaster of emotions